12 Ways 'Episode 2' Sucked

Easy Dozen

by Rob "Gutterbug" Evans

It was better than 'Episode I', but it still sucked. And to have some fun with it, I offer: 12 Things that sucked about 'Attack of the Clones'

01: Yoda's Fight - Granted, it was amusing, but, the jumpin' green gnome did not even hit Dooku once.
02: Anakin's Whining - After ten years... he's still a whiny bastard. Definately not moving closer to being Vader.
03: Poor Timelining - If you missed it, there is nothing I can list here to help you.
04: Jango's Death - What's up with Lucas making all the bad guys go out like nitwits?
05: Asteroid Chase - Why is it that the missle could could catch up to the ship, but not hit it?
06: 'Mario Bros.' Ripoff - If that Anakin/Padme factory romp did not make you want to vomit, you're a nitwit.
07: 'Gladiator' Ripoff - When you have big, ugly pets, make sure that a shackled Queen cannot kill it.
08: Poor Direction - Ack... You'd think Lucas could do a better job.
09: Haughty Librarian - Look, bitch, there could be something that's not in your books.
10: Bogus Chase - Lucas failed to give a decent point-of-reference for Corruscant to make this work.
11: Lame Love Affair - Look, Padme, you knew Anakin was prone to throw-out low-rent player lines; don't act surprised.
12: Jar-Jar - The list would not be complete without ripping on this rat-bastard