erosion recurrance

My Thoughts

by Rob "Gutterbug" Evans

it's eroding again?
reality aggressively overpowering the lingering dream.
it's pounding, hammering, and stabbing at it
gaining favor with the mental council?
doubt, impatience, insecurity, and loneliness.
now, no matter if by design or coincidence,
the reality is i am met with antagonism;
never a good trait?doubly so hen it flares while upset.

perhaps this is merely the bleak before the dawn.
perhaps this is a subconcious sabotage.
perhaps this is the best there is to be had.
perhaps this is her doing?perhaps it's mine...

the reality is i tire of the continual compromises?
the antagonism simply compounds the taxing on me.
i know i am not alone in this?
she is truly a marvel (easily worth the effort)
...nonetheless, it is my goal?not the effort?
which is giving birth, strength to the dark thoughts.

without getting lost in my feelings, cold reality speaks:
"you merely have staved the inevitable; you are meant to be alone."
it feels like an axe splitting my heart,
allowing th elove to flow from the wound.

and this time i hesitate...
what good is it to worry, to toil for this dream?
she lacks appreciation for my effort...
so why strive, year, and bleed?
it takes more than beauty.
it takes more than arousal.

it takes someone to match my effort, my commitment
to making the best union, to carving a piece of elysium.

time will reveal. my actions will follow.

'erosion recurrance'
rob.evans
march9.2003